[ she'd said much the same — not in that fashion, exactly, but the sentiment buried beneath it — to terry, hadn't she? she frowns, looking back on it, and her hesitation leaks through into her voice. ]
I'm well-acquainted with liars who take advantage of escaping their reputation. But you're going to have a hard time persuading anyone here that that's true of Terry Silver.
[ Daniel slowly exhales - to himself, considering it doesn't come across the telepathic communication. ]
He told me as much.
[ That his reputation here was good. And while there was the chance he was lying about it, this feels like confirmation now. Daniel doesn't think Alina would lie to him. She has no reason to. ]
He did the same thing back home. I guess it's even easier for him here now. [ Considering no one could possibly look into his past. ] I'm.. really sorry you're familiar with it too, though. And I really hope he hasn't tried to get close to you, considering your past experience.
[ Even if he isn't sure on what level Alina has gone through that, or with who exactly, he still wouldn't want to wish that on her twice. Daniel knows how awful it is to deal with that crap. ]
[ she deflates some, admitting this. why would he? she's irreparably damaged now by what aleksander had done to her. not naive or even useful anymore. just bitter and hardened into some unrecognizable monster. it showed on the outside, now, too, that he had fundamentally changed her. his bones were a part of her, jutting cruelly from her own around her clavicle. ]
There's a pause. It's hard to tell if Daniel is even planning on sending over even a thought more, but it seems that he was still thinking about it, since a thought finally comes through. ]
I find it hard to talk about it like this. [ Or in general, really. But having to think at someone what Terry Silver did to him?
That might as well be impossible. ]
I could try to explain it to you in person.
[ As hard as it is to talk about, it does seem like the only way to let other people know that they shouldn't trust Terry too much. That they shouldn't let him in.
And if she has experience already-- well, that feels like all the more reason to protect Alina. To try to talk about it, if not just for her sake. ]
[ If there's anything that could make Daniel's mind temporarily shift away from the previous topic, it's this. After all, he can only wonder if she's just telling him that because it's a stranger, or whether she's been applying it to everyone recently.
And Daniel is just a little too fussy for his mind to linger on his own misery over someone else's. Even a stranger's. ]
[ it's mumbled, like she isn't quite pleased that people have stopped her from keeping them at arm's length. don't they get that she's trying to make the right decision for them? ]
.. well, time to add one more to the tally, then. [ He might sound just a touch glad, even across thoughts. Alina seems so young, after all. She shouldn't have to be alone, no matter what happened. ]
I'm not particularly worried about my reputation. And I think this talk is important enough to risk it in any case.
[ That she won't stab him, anyway. Even with everything that's going on being a little confusing to him, lacking context-- he doesn't think she seems like a bad kid.
Maybe it's instinct. ]
I'm willing to put some trust into you, if you're willing to put some trust into me.
[ he doesn't realize how much he's asking for. how impossible that is for her to give, now. it disappoints her to think this—for a moment there, she's wondered if there was a kindred spirit, someone who might really understand.
so she dodges the question, buries her 'no' under an implicit 'yes' by saying— ]
[ It's good enough for him, the answer he hears. Mostly because he was contemplating whether or not he'd really have to discuss it over thoughts like this after all, and Daniel was honestly feeling more and more scared at the idea than he'd like to admit to out loud.
So knowing he can do it in person is a relief, at least. And there's some relief too in her actually being willing to come see him face to face, despite her - understandable - apprehension. So-- ]
I'll see you there.
[ -- after he gives that answer, Daniel makes sure to hurry so he can be waiting there first, not wanting her to have to wait around by herself. He isn't sure how things have been for her since what happened, but he can't imagine being out on the streets by herself can be great for her. The locals seem way enough of the Void-touched as a whole, let alone one who's gone through a trial, he figures. He won't give them the chance to gawk at her while she waits - so it's instead Daniel who stands there outside first, waiting.
.. still a little nervous at the topic he knows is about to come up, though, and the man is fiddling around with a coin in his hands while he waits, trying to guide the nervous energy there.
At least it makes it pretty obvious who he is, given that the man looks so obviously like he's waiting. When he spots her, he won't say her name, won't draw attention to it, but he will at least look at her and nod. ]
[ alina is a sight, bone spears jutting cruelly up from around her dress's wide collar. if she is cold, she doesn't show it. she keeps her chin up, meets his gaze without shying away as she had at first, when people had seen her amplifiers. she's learning how to be resilient. ]
Thank you for offering. [ she folds her arms in front of her. ] Do you want to do this here?
[ The man could recognize that kind of gaze out of a thousand different stares.
Thankfully his sales work has given him a good enough pokerface in situations like these for his expression to not shift in the slightest at her current state. Instead he actually offers her a smile - though very tiny - when she thanks him. ]
Yeah. It's fine with me.
[ No one is actually standing around here for long enough to overhear what he'd say, he figures. ]
As long as it's alright with you too. [ Daniel figures it is, or she wouldn't have asked, but-- it can't hurt to make sure, especially with Alina's delicate situation. ]
[ despite her severe tone, it almost sounds like a joke. after all, the amplifiers stick cruelly out of her body. there's no pretending it didn't happen, that she isn't exactly what aleksander claims she is. alina had come to this place determined to lie to protect herself: now there's no way of doing it. ]
cw: talk of an adult manipulating and abusing a teenager
[ It's a reminder of her bravery, in a sense. The words she's speaking, the visible reminder of what happened.
Even if the very story Daniel brought her here to tell is one he usually prefers to hide, he can't do that anymore either. Not to her. So he sucks in a breath, and then starts to speak. ]
Back home I do karate. [ It feels almost silly to start out that way, especially in the light of everything else here, in the light of everything about her, but Daniel feels like it's necessary context. ] It's-- It's a kind of martial arts.
[ Since he's definitely already ran into at least one person who absolutely did not know what karate is. ]
Back when I was your age, I was the local reigning champion. But-- um. [ He swallows. Even if Daniel is determined to tell her, it's still not easy. ] When I got into some trouble-- life-threatening trouble, and my teacher couldn't help me.. That's when Terry Silver appeared into my life. He was older than me, protective, charming, helpful.. He offered to teach me at a time when I desperately needed it, so I accepted his offer.
[ He glances away from her. ]
At first it was great. He seemed great. He really taught me things I had never learned before. He made me feel.. powerful. And special. [ His voice dips a little bit with that last word. Even if Daniel doesn't elaborate, there's clearly A Lot contained in that word, a whole lot of implications. ] But after a while.. I realised he had lied to me all along. He was the one who set up the initial trouble in the first place, knowing it would drive me into his claws. And he didn't want to train me in order to help me at all. He was just-- just using me. Changing me into something else.
[ Daniel pauses, just for a brief moment, and it's then that he's able to look over at Alina again. ]
I want to make sure he won't do that to anyone else here. I-- I wanted to make sure you knew.
[ Because clearly Alina has been through enough already. Her current appearance is proof of it. ]
[ so much of it sounds familiar—not in a comforting way, exactly, but in a way that stings. it's almost an indictment of her own foolishness, albeit gentler than baghra's accusations. she'd been such an idiot to believe that someone like aleksander could look at her and —
she blinks through the tears that rise up, making her eyes burn. she drops her gaze, breath caught in her throat, and breaks his gaze. she can't hold it. not while she's wrestling with the fresh surge of that feeling.
but by the time he is done, she has pushed it back down. she tugs her lip between her teeth, lifts her chin, breathes slow through her nose and nods. ]
There's a saying, [ she says finally, working her jaw, ] in Ravka. Amongst Grisha. "Like calls to like." [ they used it to articulate how grisha power worked, but it's not just grisha power. it's the whole universe, isn't it? and grisha just take advantage of those laws, those rules. ] I'm not surprised to hear Kirigan keeps company with men inclined to the same methods that he uses. [ the comment is barbed. but once she looks back into daniel's face, she softens. falters. says what she realizes she should have started with: ] I'm sorry that happened to you.
[ There's something about her reaction that makes having told this feel better and worse at the same time. It's worse since it hurts to see her in clear pain too, but at the same time-- it feels better to explain this entire story to someone who can understand due to experience. It doesn't make the shame vanish entirely, but it lightens a little bit, like a shared burden.
He holds her gaze when it returns to him, and despite what she's saying, he smiles a little bit. It's a tiny, sad smile. ]
I'm sorry too.
[ And not for himself. Even if she hasn't said it directly-- between what she said earlier across thoughts and how she's reacting now, it's easy to see the picture all the same. It's not just that Alina knows people like that - it's that was a victim of it. ]
I know it's hard. And it can't be any easier when you're still confronted with it here. [ There's a very visible reminder of it on her right now, after all. ]
Yes, I'm sure you believed he was well out of your life.
[ this she says rather than acknowledge that it's her they're talking about. she doesn't want to think about kirigan, exactly. she'd rather think about these two, and what they'd done to one another. what they'll continue to do to one another. ]
People trust him, here. He's going to use that. [ does she mean aleksander or terry? they're one in the same, in so many ways. ] And it will get easier and easier to malign anyone who opposes him.
[ Daniel isn't stupid. He can see what she's doing, but he'll let her. If anyone knows that this stuff isn't easy to talk or even think about, it's Daniel. ]
.. I know. [ He isn't stupid about that either. ] He's already done that before.
[ Not here, but back home. It's why Daniel doesn't doubt Terry would love to do the same thing again. ]
But.. [ He pauses, waiting for her to make eye contact, so he can push down the heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach even further down, just enough so he can give her a tiny smile. ] That doesn't mean I have to just roll over and give up, right? It's not like I have nothing. For one, I know I'm not alone in this.
[ This time it's Daniel who's doing the opposite - speaking about himself, even though there's a clear implication in his voice that it's meant for her.
He gets it. And if Alina needs more support, then he'll definitely be in her corner, as someone who understands these things intricately well. ]
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[ this is the weirdest interaction already. ]
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[ At least he doesn't seem to mind the slight hesitation here. Daniel is pretty well aware how this may come across, after all. ]
We come from the same world. And he is-- He's not who he's trying to seem here.
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I'm well-acquainted with liars who take advantage of escaping their reputation. But you're going to have a hard time persuading anyone here that that's true of Terry Silver.
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He told me as much.
[ That his reputation here was good. And while there was the chance he was lying about it, this feels like confirmation now. Daniel doesn't think Alina would lie to him. She has no reason to. ]
He did the same thing back home. I guess it's even easier for him here now. [ Considering no one could possibly look into his past. ] I'm.. really sorry you're familiar with it too, though. And I really hope he hasn't tried to get close to you, considering your past experience.
[ Even if he isn't sure on what level Alina has gone through that, or with who exactly, he still wouldn't want to wish that on her twice. Daniel knows how awful it is to deal with that crap. ]
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[ she deflates some, admitting this. why would he? she's irreparably damaged now by what aleksander had done to her. not naive or even useful anymore. just bitter and hardened into some unrecognizable monster. it showed on the outside, now, too, that he had fundamentally changed her. his bones were a part of her, jutting cruelly from her own around her clavicle. ]
What did he do to you?
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There's a pause. It's hard to tell if Daniel is even planning on sending over even a thought more, but it seems that he was still thinking about it, since a thought finally comes through. ]
I find it hard to talk about it like this. [ Or in general, really. But having to think at someone what Terry Silver did to him?
That might as well be impossible. ]
I could try to explain it to you in person.
[ As hard as it is to talk about, it does seem like the only way to let other people know that they shouldn't trust Terry too much. That they shouldn't let him in.
And if she has experience already-- well, that feels like all the more reason to protect Alina. To try to talk about it, if not just for her sake. ]
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[ If there's anything that could make Daniel's mind temporarily shift away from the previous topic, it's this. After all, he can only wonder if she's just telling him that because it's a stranger, or whether she's been applying it to everyone recently.
And Daniel is just a little too fussy for his mind to linger on his own misery over someone else's. Even a stranger's. ]
You haven't been isolating yourself, have you?
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[ it's mumbled, like she isn't quite pleased that people have stopped her from keeping them at arm's length. don't they get that she's trying to make the right decision for them? ]
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I'm not particularly worried about my reputation. And I think this talk is important enough to risk it in any case.
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You don't sound to me like someone who'd stab me right upon meeting me in person.
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[ That she won't stab him, anyway. Even with everything that's going on being a little confusing to him, lacking context-- he doesn't think she seems like a bad kid.
Maybe it's instinct. ]
I'm willing to put some trust into you, if you're willing to put some trust into me.
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so she dodges the question, buries her 'no' under an implicit 'yes' by saying— ]
I'll meet you outside the boarding house.
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So knowing he can do it in person is a relief, at least. And there's some relief too in her actually being willing to come see him face to face, despite her - understandable - apprehension. So-- ]
I'll see you there.
[ -- after he gives that answer, Daniel makes sure to hurry so he can be waiting there first, not wanting her to have to wait around by herself. He isn't sure how things have been for her since what happened, but he can't imagine being out on the streets by herself can be great for her. The locals seem way enough of the Void-touched as a whole, let alone one who's gone through a trial, he figures. He won't give them the chance to gawk at her while she waits - so it's instead Daniel who stands there outside first, waiting.
.. still a little nervous at the topic he knows is about to come up, though, and the man is fiddling around with a coin in his hands while he waits, trying to guide the nervous energy there.
At least it makes it pretty obvious who he is, given that the man looks so obviously like he's waiting. When he spots her, he won't say her name, won't draw attention to it, but he will at least look at her and nod. ]
Hey. Thank you for coming out here.
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Thank you for offering. [ she folds her arms in front of her. ] Do you want to do this here?
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Thankfully his sales work has given him a good enough pokerface in situations like these for his expression to not shift in the slightest at her current state. Instead he actually offers her a smile - though very tiny - when she thanks him. ]
Yeah. It's fine with me.
[ No one is actually standing around here for long enough to overhear what he'd say, he figures. ]
As long as it's alright with you too. [ Daniel figures it is, or she wouldn't have asked, but-- it can't hurt to make sure, especially with Alina's delicate situation. ]
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[ despite her severe tone, it almost sounds like a joke. after all, the amplifiers stick cruelly out of her body. there's no pretending it didn't happen, that she isn't exactly what aleksander claims she is. alina had come to this place determined to lie to protect herself: now there's no way of doing it. ]
cw: talk of an adult manipulating and abusing a teenager
Even if the very story Daniel brought her here to tell is one he usually prefers to hide, he can't do that anymore either. Not to her. So he sucks in a breath, and then starts to speak. ]
Back home I do karate. [ It feels almost silly to start out that way, especially in the light of everything else here, in the light of everything about her, but Daniel feels like it's necessary context. ] It's-- It's a kind of martial arts.
[ Since he's definitely already ran into at least one person who absolutely did not know what karate is. ]
Back when I was your age, I was the local reigning champion. But-- um. [ He swallows. Even if Daniel is determined to tell her, it's still not easy. ] When I got into some trouble-- life-threatening trouble, and my teacher couldn't help me.. That's when Terry Silver appeared into my life. He was older than me, protective, charming, helpful.. He offered to teach me at a time when I desperately needed it, so I accepted his offer.
[ He glances away from her. ]
At first it was great. He seemed great. He really taught me things I had never learned before. He made me feel.. powerful. And special. [ His voice dips a little bit with that last word. Even if Daniel doesn't elaborate, there's clearly A Lot contained in that word, a whole lot of implications. ] But after a while.. I realised he had lied to me all along. He was the one who set up the initial trouble in the first place, knowing it would drive me into his claws. And he didn't want to train me in order to help me at all. He was just-- just using me. Changing me into something else.
[ Daniel pauses, just for a brief moment, and it's then that he's able to look over at Alina again. ]
I want to make sure he won't do that to anyone else here. I-- I wanted to make sure you knew.
[ Because clearly Alina has been through enough already. Her current appearance is proof of it. ]
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she blinks through the tears that rise up, making her eyes burn. she drops her gaze, breath caught in her throat, and breaks his gaze. she can't hold it. not while she's wrestling with the fresh surge of that feeling.
but by the time he is done, she has pushed it back down. she tugs her lip between her teeth, lifts her chin, breathes slow through her nose and nods. ]
There's a saying, [ she says finally, working her jaw, ] in Ravka. Amongst Grisha. "Like calls to like." [ they used it to articulate how grisha power worked, but it's not just grisha power. it's the whole universe, isn't it? and grisha just take advantage of those laws, those rules. ] I'm not surprised to hear Kirigan keeps company with men inclined to the same methods that he uses. [ the comment is barbed. but once she looks back into daniel's face, she softens. falters. says what she realizes she should have started with: ] I'm sorry that happened to you.
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He holds her gaze when it returns to him, and despite what she's saying, he smiles a little bit. It's a tiny, sad smile. ]
I'm sorry too.
[ And not for himself. Even if she hasn't said it directly-- between what she said earlier across thoughts and how she's reacting now, it's easy to see the picture all the same. It's not just that Alina knows people like that - it's that was a victim of it. ]
I know it's hard. And it can't be any easier when you're still confronted with it here. [ There's a very visible reminder of it on her right now, after all. ]
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[ this she says rather than acknowledge that it's her they're talking about. she doesn't want to think about kirigan, exactly. she'd rather think about these two, and what they'd done to one another. what they'll continue to do to one another. ]
People trust him, here. He's going to use that. [ does she mean aleksander or terry? they're one in the same, in so many ways. ] And it will get easier and easier to malign anyone who opposes him.
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.. I know. [ He isn't stupid about that either. ] He's already done that before.
[ Not here, but back home. It's why Daniel doesn't doubt Terry would love to do the same thing again. ]
But.. [ He pauses, waiting for her to make eye contact, so he can push down the heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach even further down, just enough so he can give her a tiny smile. ] That doesn't mean I have to just roll over and give up, right? It's not like I have nothing. For one, I know I'm not alone in this.
[ This time it's Daniel who's doing the opposite - speaking about himself, even though there's a clear implication in his voice that it's meant for her.
He gets it. And if Alina needs more support, then he'll definitely be in her corner, as someone who understands these things intricately well. ]
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[ she looks piteous, shaking her head. draws a breath to re-center herself and pick her approach. ]
You should know I have a tendency to be more liability than useful ally.
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(cw: corpse mutilation refs, victim blaming)
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