[ she comes up short. she's never had anyone question that line of thinking so directly before. she hears baghra's voice in her head, telling her what a stupid girl she is for letting aleksander manipulate her like he had. she shakes her head. ]
Because it's the truth. I make stupid decisions. Everyone saw it when we went inside the Duchess' castle. I was the only one who couldn't just keep my mouth shut, and Nikolai paid the price.
[ she doesn't know, of course, that daniel wasn't around for that. ]
And then there's this. [ she presses her palm to the center of her clavicle, the only part unbroken by aleksander's bones. anyone who'd attended the moot hall would know that she came by them by murdering him and fusing them to her body. ]
[ It's true - Daniel knows nothing about the first incident. And the second one-- well, he can't say he's the most informed person in this place in regards to that either.
But it doesn't matter. He's pretty sure that even having that knowledge wouldn't change his answer. ]
Everyone makes stupid decisions.
[ He won't tell her they weren't stupid - mostly because Daniel knows what it's like when you feel like you made one. It doesn't matter what anyone else says, it's going to feel stupid anyway.
Like when he walked right into Terry Silver's arms. ]
But our mistakes don't define us. Especially in-- [ He gestures a little with one hand. ] -- in this twisted place.
[ If anything, he'd blame Alina's mistakes more on that than on her. ]
You don't have to be my ally if you don't want to be. You don't even have to trust me. [ Considering the answer she gave before. ] You can view me as just some bothersome guy who doesn't know when to give up, just because he's been through something similar. But-- just know you're not alone in all of this. If you need help at any point, I'll give it to you. You just have to say the word.
[ she smothers some pained, grieving expression that leaks into her face. it is wet and trembling and lasts only a moment. something that he's said seems to push through. perhaps for no reason other than she wants allies, she wants to not be alone in this, but —
and as she says this, her voice quivers — ]
He'll kill you. If you're particularly unlucky, he'll make you wish you were dead.
[ He seems to think - but truly not for very long. Probably not as long as he should have. ]
That's fine. I refuse to let him isolate you. [ Even with a threat like that looming over his head. ] That's what they always try to do. We can't give in to that.
[ she is struck by that, enough to go silent for a moment. to have to blink and look away to try — to fail — to control the wetness behind her eyes and in her voice.
finally, she manages, ] That's a very stupid thing to do. I hope you don't regret it.
[ It sounds steadfast. Almost too confident. But it's not because Daniel is confident he won't get hurt - he actually isn't very sure of that one. It's just that he knows turning away from her would give him far more regret than him getting himself in trouble over this ever would.
It makes it easy to be sure. Even more so in the light of her near-tears. He hopes it can be reassuring to her. ]
So-- just remember. I'm always only a thought away if you need my help. [ And, since he can tell it's all a little heavy for her - and with good reason - he adds with a bit more lightheartedness: ] And you can let me know in turn if you ever manage to say something that annoys Terry. I'd love to hear.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(cw: corpse mutilation refs, victim blaming)
[ she comes up short. she's never had anyone question that line of thinking so directly before. she hears baghra's voice in her head, telling her what a stupid girl she is for letting aleksander manipulate her like he had. she shakes her head. ]
Because it's the truth. I make stupid decisions. Everyone saw it when we went inside the Duchess' castle. I was the only one who couldn't just keep my mouth shut, and Nikolai paid the price.
[ she doesn't know, of course, that daniel wasn't around for that. ]
And then there's this. [ she presses her palm to the center of her clavicle, the only part unbroken by aleksander's bones. anyone who'd attended the moot hall would know that she came by them by murdering him and fusing them to her body. ]
no subject
But it doesn't matter. He's pretty sure that even having that knowledge wouldn't change his answer. ]
Everyone makes stupid decisions.
[ He won't tell her they weren't stupid - mostly because Daniel knows what it's like when you feel like you made one. It doesn't matter what anyone else says, it's going to feel stupid anyway.
Like when he walked right into Terry Silver's arms. ]
But our mistakes don't define us. Especially in-- [ He gestures a little with one hand. ] -- in this twisted place.
[ If anything, he'd blame Alina's mistakes more on that than on her. ]
You don't have to be my ally if you don't want to be. You don't even have to trust me. [ Considering the answer she gave before. ] You can view me as just some bothersome guy who doesn't know when to give up, just because he's been through something similar. But-- just know you're not alone in all of this. If you need help at any point, I'll give it to you. You just have to say the word.
no subject
and as she says this, her voice quivers — ]
He'll kill you. If you're particularly unlucky, he'll make you wish you were dead.
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Instead he still has that same concerned little frown on his face as he asks her: ]
He'd do that to someone just for being friendly to you?
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[ she admits it with a little shake of her head, her lips forced into a flat line. ]
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[ He seems to think - but truly not for very long. Probably not as long as he should have. ]
That's fine. I refuse to let him isolate you. [ Even with a threat like that looming over his head. ] That's what they always try to do. We can't give in to that.
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finally, she manages, ] That's a very stupid thing to do. I hope you don't regret it.
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[ It sounds steadfast. Almost too confident. But it's not because Daniel is confident he won't get hurt - he actually isn't very sure of that one. It's just that he knows turning away from her would give him far more regret than him getting himself in trouble over this ever would.
It makes it easy to be sure. Even more so in the light of her near-tears. He hopes it can be reassuring to her. ]
So-- just remember. I'm always only a thought away if you need my help. [ And, since he can tell it's all a little heavy for her - and with good reason - he adds with a bit more lightheartedness: ] And you can let me know in turn if you ever manage to say something that annoys Terry. I'd love to hear.
no subject
I'll bear that in mind.