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[sunmon]

Comments

[sunmon]

Have you? I find that difficult to imagine.

[morozova]

Oh?

[sunmon]

It's a bit undignified, isn't it? And you're so ...

[ it's deceptively easy to fall back into this. especially when he is not in front of her. this comms device, she realizes, might be dangerous. ]

[morozova]

Polished?

( it's not the first word that came to mind. )

I did have a life before I became the leader of the Second Army.

[sunmon]

In Fjerdan prisons, apparently.

[ if she can believe it's true. ]

Has it always been like this for the Grisha? As long as you've been alive?

[morozova]

Worse, generally.

[sunmon]

Do you think that's why he really did it?
The Black Heretic.
Was he punishing them?

[morozova]

Perhaps.
Are we not as entitled to life as the otkazat'sya?

[sunmon]

What about the otkazat'sya and grisha lost to the Fold?
Weren't they entitled to a life?
They weren't kings or diplomats deciding how grisha should be treated. They were just people.

[morozova]

You're right, of course.
Whatever the intention, the loss of life extended well beyond what could ever be considered acceptable.

[sunmon]

Of course.

[ but does he think so?? does he really?? ]

Do you think it's going to be like that for me, too? Living that long.

I feel ridiculous. 😳 You've lived several lives and I'm only just starting mine.

[morozova]

No.
The war will be over, for one.

[sunmon]

How can you be so sure of that?

[morozova]

Because the war must end one way or the other.
And of all of us, you are the only one truly free.

[sunmon]

I don't feel free.

[ the cage door just hasn't slammed shut yet. ]

[morozova]

No, I suppose you wouldn't.

[sunmon]

How can you say that I'm the free one?

[morozova]

You are the only one with the means to vanquish the Fold.
Truly vanquish it.
And we rely on you and your power, but if you decided to leave, to run, it would be difficult to follow you without great risk.

[sunmon]

Why would I run?

[morozova]

You mean you haven't considered it?

[sunmon]

I did.
But even if I ran, I wouldn't stop being grisha. I'd be hiding no matter where I went. The king would want to kill me as much as Shu Han and Fjerda. And...


And I would be even more alone.

[morozova]

The king wants a great many things he'll never have.

Tell me, then, how would you see this end for you, given the choice?
I can't imagine you'd want to remain in Ravka indefinitely.

[sunmon]

I haven't thought about it.

[ there's baghra in her ear again. naive, foolish girl. she had only thought to make it through each day. kirigan was thinking about the next fifty years. ]

Even destroying the Fold feels far away. What's the point of fantasizing about leaving Ravka if I might not even be able to do it in the first place?

Although I suppose we've already left it, haven't we?

Maybe I should start fantasizing about getting back.

[morozova]

You'll be able to do it.
Perhaps not for some time, but eventually.

I suppose that depends on how you feel about tentacled rats and acid rain.

[sunmon]

What, that's not your idea of a vacation?