[ her chest aches. she feels dizzy and confused because there's some part of her that glows with this reassurance, especially after hearing what happened to marie. he wouldn't let anything happen to alina. he cares about her. she desperately wants to believe that, but it doesn't add up. it doesn't make sense. ]
My drawings of fairytales don't have anything to do with threats on my life.
It's one of Morozova's creatures. Made from Sankt Ilya's fingerbones. It could be a powerful amplifier for Grisha power. If it were real. You said it yourself, it's a fairytale. They're just drawings.
[ it is, she thinks. it is. i've seen it. dreamed it. and she wants to find it. if she had that amplifier, she wouldn't need to lie and hide. she might be strong enough to fight kirigan. ]
It's just a story. Is this why you're so sure I can destroy the Fold? With an amplifier that isn't real?
The alternative is killing a mythical creature that's lived for centuries. Isn't that worth twenty years?
[ but even as she says it, it really hits her how long twenty years is. twenty years of fearing for her life, dodging assassination attempts like poor marie. twenty years of war and death. would ravka survive twenty more years of this? would it be whole when west ravka is ever pulling away? ]
it unsettles alina. he's so good at making it sounds so logical. of course she needs to kill the stag, and wear the amplifier, and — destroy the fold, yes? protect ravka.
she rubs her hands over her face before replying. ]
As long as we're here, I don't have to choose. I'll meet you at the theater for training.
[ because if she can be strong enough without the amplifier, then there won't be a need for any of these questions. but it sticks in her mind like a burr, that stag. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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You let me believe she was my friend.
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Oh, she is. Which is precisely why she takes her job so seriously.
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My drawings of fairytales don't have anything to do with threats on my life.
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But you do know what the stag is, yes?
What it can do?
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It could be a powerful amplifier for Grisha power. If it were real.
You said it yourself, it's a fairytale. They're just drawings.
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It is possible that they're more than stories.
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It's just a story.
Is this why you're so sure I can destroy the Fold? With an amplifier that isn't real?
[ she hasn't registered the plural he used yet. ]
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[ but even as she says it, it really hits her how long twenty years is. twenty years of fearing for her life, dodging assassination attempts like poor marie. twenty years of war and death. would ravka survive twenty more years of this? would it be whole when west ravka is ever pulling away? ]
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it unsettles alina. he's so good at making it sounds so logical. of course she needs to kill the stag, and wear the amplifier, and — destroy the fold, yes? protect ravka.
she rubs her hands over her face before replying. ]
As long as we're here, I don't have to choose.
I'll meet you at the theater for training.
[ because if she can be strong enough without the amplifier, then there won't be a need for any of these questions. but it sticks in her mind like a burr, that stag. ]
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