[ there's baghra in her ear again. naive, foolish girl. she had only thought to make it through each day. kirigan was thinking about the next fifty years. ]
Even destroying the Fold feels far away. What's the point of fantasizing about leaving Ravka if I might not even be able to do it in the first place?
Although I suppose we've already left it, haven't we?
Maybe I should start fantasizing about getting back.
[ if it were only that, she might forgive him. but no one wants to retire so badly they turn a girl into a slave and the fold into a weapon, do they? that's someone who wants power. ]
I lied, before. Well, not completely. I've never actively imagined what it will be like after the Fold is gone, but I think it's because I felt like it'd be more like what we had.
The Little Palace. And training and parties and you and I.
I see. Aleksander, how did you know I was a good artist?
[ the missing pages from her journal. the sketches of the stag. baghra's warning. she would have thought it was sweet, a month ago. she would have thought he'd noticed her. she feels sick now. ]
I wasn't exactly looking for them. But Genya was asked to keep an eye out for anything unusual. Drawing a mystical herd from legend certainly fits the bill. Unless you have a taste for fairy tales?
[ her chest aches. she feels dizzy and confused because there's some part of her that glows with this reassurance, especially after hearing what happened to marie. he wouldn't let anything happen to alina. he cares about her. she desperately wants to believe that, but it doesn't add up. it doesn't make sense. ]
My drawings of fairytales don't have anything to do with threats on my life.
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[ there's baghra in her ear again. naive, foolish girl. she had only thought to make it through each day. kirigan was thinking about the next fifty years. ]
Even destroying the Fold feels far away. What's the point of fantasizing about leaving Ravka if I might not even be able to do it in the first place?
Although I suppose we've already left it, haven't we?
Maybe I should start fantasizing about getting back.
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Perhaps not for some time, but eventually.
I suppose that depends on how you feel about tentacled rats and acid rain.
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Possibly adjacent to a vineyard.
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How can you be so sure that I'll be able to do it? What do you know that I don't?
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Because you would not be here, not now, without good reason.
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[ if it were only that, she might forgive him. but no one wants to retire so badly they turn a girl into a slave and the fold into a weapon, do they? that's someone who wants power. ]
I lied, before.
Well, not completely.
I've never actively imagined what it will be like after the Fold is gone, but I think it's because I felt like it'd be more like what we had.
The Little Palace. And training and parties and you and I.
I'd grown to like it.
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You think it's freedom, being the sun summoner. But I feel like I'm being crushed.
Everyone wants something from me. There's no way of knowing when someone's taken with me if it's just because of my power.
And if I fail, they'll turn around just as quickly.
If I were destined to be grisha, why couldn't I be something simple like a squaller? 😩
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[ alina may like them well enough, but everyone knows that no one takes the materialki seriously. they vastly prefer to be left alone, anyway. ]
You didn't answer my question.
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They're some of the greatest artists we have.
Which question?
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Like as said before, you're my balance.
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Aleksander, how did you know I was a good artist?
[ the missing pages from her journal. the sketches of the stag. baghra's warning. she would have thought it was sweet, a month ago. she would have thought he'd noticed her. she feels sick now. ]
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( which he had done, of course. )
Genya mentioned your sketches.
Apparently you have a taste for wild life.
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A few went missing from my journal.
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Why didn't you just ask?
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But Genya was asked to keep an eye out for anything unusual.
Drawing a mystical herd from legend certainly fits the bill.
Unless you have a taste for fairy tales?
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You've had Genya spying on me?
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Given her particular skills, Genya is better equipped to most threats than many believe.
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You let me believe she was my friend.
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Oh, she is. Which is precisely why she takes her job so seriously.
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My drawings of fairytales don't have anything to do with threats on my life.
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