As to the initial point: my mother kept me isolated for most of my early life. I never learned how to be an ordinary child. You have that chance: use it.
i haven't been a child in years. i joined the first army, you'll recall. actually im not sure i ever was. i was so young when i lost my parents. but please, tell me what a child would do in my position in the city that demands our compliance through sex while requiring i exert my will over others.
what's in the down, aleksander? why do you want to stay there?
[ she's being all the things she hates being. paranoid. controlling. but there's something instinctual about yanking back that carefully cast trust when she finds that all his talk of inviting whatever punishment she deemed fit had been only in pursuit of undoing the one she'd levied.
and there's the other wound. the one that can't help but take this as not a willingness to give her space, but a desire to keep away from her. ]
You can't control me. But you already know that. And I don't think you want to, truthfully. Even if you're trying to convince yourself otherwise.
You don't want me in your home, Alina. Right now you want to be safe, and so I'm offering you that while allowing you the choice when and on what terms you see me. Because when have I refused you anything, truly? Your little tracker friend, aside.
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Leaving aside our admittedly fraught history do you want my advice?
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The Fjerdans were never known for their sense of humor so your efforts would be utterly wasted on them.
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i suspected i stood no chance of stopping you
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Consider it progress.
As to the initial point: my mother kept me isolated for most of my early life. I never learned how to be an ordinary child.
You have that chance: use it.
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actually im not sure i ever was. i was so young when i lost my parents.
but please, tell me what a child would do in my position in the city that demands our compliance through sex while requiring i exert my will over others.
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And let tomorrow's battles be for tomorrow.
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[ and he could get a lot done in a single day if she took the day off fighting him. ]
enough of that. you must have wanted more than to humble yourself at my feet when you messaged. what is it?
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As I said, I'm old and clearly out of touch.
I want your permission to change residences eventually.
I'll find it and pay for it myself, of course. In the Down rather than the Up.
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not going to ask permission to return to changing the sun summoner's bed linens?
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why do you want to stay there?
[ she's being all the things she hates being. paranoid. controlling. but there's something instinctual about yanking back that carefully cast trust when she finds that all his talk of inviting whatever punishment she deemed fit had been only in pursuit of undoing the one she'd levied.
and there's the other wound. the one that can't help but take this as not a willingness to give her space, but a desire to keep away from her. ]
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You'll have the address and a key, of course.
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do letters make it easier to stomach? getting it out of the way so it can be done with?
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but not back into my house. no, you want somewhere that i can't control you.
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And I don't think you want to, truthfully. Even if you're trying to convince yourself otherwise.
You don't want me in your home, Alina.
Right now you want to be safe, and so I'm offering you that while allowing you the choice when and on what terms you see me. Because when have I refused you anything, truly? Your little tracker friend, aside.
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Because so far you haven't given me a straight answer.
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