what's in the down, aleksander? why do you want to stay there?
[ she's being all the things she hates being. paranoid. controlling. but there's something instinctual about yanking back that carefully cast trust when she finds that all his talk of inviting whatever punishment she deemed fit had been only in pursuit of undoing the one she'd levied.
and there's the other wound. the one that can't help but take this as not a willingness to give her space, but a desire to keep away from her. ]
You can't control me. But you already know that. And I don't think you want to, truthfully. Even if you're trying to convince yourself otherwise.
You don't want me in your home, Alina. Right now you want to be safe, and so I'm offering you that while allowing you the choice when and on what terms you see me. Because when have I refused you anything, truly? Your little tracker friend, aside.
[ she can hear the ice in his voice as if he'd spoken the words. alina thinks of every terrible thing he's ever done. thinks of the nichevo'ya in her studio. the cold of the table. her stomach feels like a stone. ]
[ cool cool she'll just be hypervigilant for the next, like, week. which will probably very coolly line up with reggie's coma, which will make her feel 100% more comfortable and not a all extra hypervigilant. ]
no subject
no subject
why do you want to stay there?
[ she's being all the things she hates being. paranoid. controlling. but there's something instinctual about yanking back that carefully cast trust when she finds that all his talk of inviting whatever punishment she deemed fit had been only in pursuit of undoing the one she'd levied.
and there's the other wound. the one that can't help but take this as not a willingness to give her space, but a desire to keep away from her. ]
no subject
You'll have the address and a key, of course.
no subject
do letters make it easier to stomach? getting it out of the way so it can be done with?
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
but not back into my house. no, you want somewhere that i can't control you.
no subject
And I don't think you want to, truthfully. Even if you're trying to convince yourself otherwise.
You don't want me in your home, Alina.
Right now you want to be safe, and so I'm offering you that while allowing you the choice when and on what terms you see me. Because when have I refused you anything, truly? Your little tracker friend, aside.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Because so far you haven't given me a straight answer.
no subject
no subject
no subject
yes.
[ she won't be afraid of him. she won't. ]
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject