Being down here, going through these caverns with everything in our heads, in search of a heart, makes me think about it.
You know, back home, on the Mithraeum, not long after my ascension, I basically watched Orpheus take that deal and break his neck so he physically could not turn his head to look back at Eurydice. And then he asked me to pluck his eyes out for him, just to be sure. Orpheus thought this was perfectly normal, logical behavior. Eurydice was offended and took it as Orpheus never ever wanted to look upon her again.
And I'm the only one that saw it for what it really was: love.
How do you think Eurydice felt, walking behind him?
He'd come to the Underworld for her, yes, but don't you think she wondered if he'd lost his nerve and decided to leave with or without her, if that was why he didn't care to make sure she was with him?
At least if he looked back, she'd die knowing that he loved her so much, he couldn't bear the possibility that she wouldn't be with him.
Love goes both ways, Solnyshka. At least it should. Orpheus loved her enough to endure everything to get her back. Shouldn't Eurydice be willing to do the same?
Look, both sides of what I saw was stupid as fuck. It's not how I would've done it, but I do understand the lengths that Orpheus went. But love is messy and makes little sense. It's supposed to be a gift, but often times it feels like a curse or swallowing a razorblade.
No... What is he? Ugh. Go away. Leave me al-- Hang on, Alina.
[five minutes later...]
Sorry bout that. Rather talk to you than fuck. What are you wearing?
Sweeney just got close enough to where I'm holed up away from everyone that he noticed and the fucking fetishization of my arm he has rolled into me like the worst club pickup line ever. I swear that man is the walking personification of sex drive and it's very overwhelming when it's shoved into my brain. I popped yesterday. I'm fine. I'll get laid when the group settles for sleep.
It's okay. It's not the same when it's just words anyway. Sorry I'm all this right now. It's hard. To try to be a person. I wish sex fixed things but all it does is take the edge off and flood me with feelings that aren't mine own. I'll try to get the piece in place again by the time I get back to town.
If all you need is to be held, then I'll hold you. And if, until then, all I can do is listen to your crazy, then I'll listen to it as long as you need.
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It's very Ravkan.
cw: ref to self-harm, eye trauma
You know, back home, on the Mithraeum, not long after my ascension, I basically watched Orpheus take that deal and break his neck so he physically could not turn his head to look back at Eurydice. And then he asked me to pluck his eyes out for him, just to be sure. Orpheus thought this was perfectly normal, logical behavior. Eurydice was offended and took it as Orpheus never ever wanted to look upon her again.
And I'm the only one that saw it for what it really was: love.
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How do you think Eurydice felt, walking behind him?
He'd come to the Underworld for her, yes, but don't you think she wondered if he'd lost his nerve and decided to leave with or without her, if that was why he didn't care to make sure she was with him?
At least if he looked back, she'd die knowing that he loved her so much, he couldn't bear the possibility that she wouldn't be with him.
cw: self-harm metaphor
Look, both sides of what I saw was stupid as fuck. It's not how I would've done it, but I do understand the lengths that Orpheus went. But love is messy and makes little sense. It's supposed to be a gift, but often times it feels like a curse or swallowing a razorblade.
No... What is he? Ugh. Go away. Leave me al-- Hang on, Alina.
[five minutes later...]
Sorry bout that. Rather talk to you than fuck.
What are you wearing?
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Sweeney just got close enough to where I'm holed up away from everyone that he noticed and the fucking fetishization of my arm he has rolled into me like the worst club pickup line ever. I swear that man is the walking personification of sex drive and it's very overwhelming when it's shoved into my brain. I popped yesterday. I'm fine. I'll get laid when the group settles for sleep.
[She wasn't fine.]
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I'm sorry.
I'm just not really in the mood right now.
But when you're back.
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Sorry I'm all this right now. It's hard. To try to be a person. I wish sex fixed things but all it does is take the edge off and flood me with feelings that aren't mine own.
I'll try to get the piece in place again by the time I get back to town.
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Or fix it on your own.
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[And it made her uncomfortable, acutely aware that people were feeling the longing pang for Alina, her bleeding heart.]
I should go before this gets to be too much again and I get my crazy all over you.
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And if, until then, all I can do is listen to your crazy, then I'll listen to it as long as you need.
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I'll check in tomorrow. Whenever that is. I have no sense of time anymore.
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[And Ianthe's out, searching for something to stab instead of fuck. Feed her hunger.]