[ it feels serious, this staking of a claim. alina wonders if she shouldn't speak to nikolai about it. if she shouldn't remind ianthe that she has agreed to marry him, not just for ravka, but for herself. that he is an anchor point for her that keeps her oriented, reminds her that there is something good in her still, and that she can't let that go.
but she doesn't want to do that. not really. it might mean losing this thing she has with ianthe. she depends too wholly on ianthe's affection to be generous enough to sacrifice it. ]
I'd like that. I appreciate the warning, in fact. It'll give me a chance to find a suitable gift. In Ravka, we celebrate the Feast of Saint Nikolai this time of year. But it's just feasting. We don't exchange gifts or anything.
[Thankfully, due to an ill-advised drunken conversation, Nikolai knew exactly what Ianthe felt when it cane to Alina. He had every opportunity to tell her about the marriage, to establish boundaries wren it came to Alina, but he didn't. In fact, he encouraged a threesome, helped drown their mutual frustration about Alina in each other.
Still, Ianthe knew she was the outsider. That she only got Alina for what limited time she had. It twisted her up inside, but it was a sensation she was used to. Her whole life, watching the people she wanted wanting someone else. But she remained, swallowed it down, and took what she could.
Like this date. She had plans for it. And yet, she was so surprised Alina said yes.]
Sankt Nikolai sailed the Bone Road, a dark and frozen stretch of the True Sea, and when his ship became trapped (as they often do), he found some sort of magical forest in all the ice that allowed him to feed his crew.
He has this magical sack that's always full of food. I think he found it in the wood? Or maybe brought it with him. I don't remember.
Anyway, when the voyage was ended, he brought it around Ravka, feeding the hungry by sharing a feast with them from inside of it.
I actually never got a copy until I was brought to the Little Palace. They keep it in the library, there.
I wasn't as interested as I should have been, except for the parts about Morozova's stag. The amplifier I mentioned, made by Sankt Ilya from his finger bones.
It's just one of those things everyone knows about but doesn't spend a lot of time thinking about.
That's not surprising. Do you think things would be different regarding the way you're thought of by Ravka as a whole if you'd been a public figure before?
Definitely the latter. Maybe not the former. Sometimes when people know you, know of you, for so long, is hard for them to accept that you're more. Being an unknown quantity is very powerful. They're not going to have a choice with you, soon enough. They'll have to take you seriously.
Sometimes I want to look up my poster sales, but I know better.
The fame was part of the appeal. First person in ten thousand years to become a lyctor. You could get posters of all of the lyctors, and here I had proved I was good enough despite everyone thinking I wasn't capable. I proved that it was possible. Should have been an inspiration to young necromancers throughout the Empire.
But that was before I knew what was really going on, what it meant to be a lyctor, because of course that was kept from everyone. And that nobody really cared. My own parents didn't even celebrate my ascension.
Checking the sales would just prove that I'm the least liked lyctor. And I already know that.
If the lyctors are so important, why didn't they celebrate? I don't understand. You seem to be quite the patriot. I don't see why anyone wouldn't like you for it.
Because I'm not Coronabeth. I played my part too well.
Corona was captured by Blood of Eden - the insurgents - at Canaan House shortly after everything went to shit, along with the other survivors that weren't me and Harrow. Neither of us even knew. When John showed up to collect us, they were gone. No bodies, just gone. So they were declared dead.
My parents were notified, just like every House was, of the dead and of the two new lyctors. To my parents, I was a lyctor, and Coronabeth was dead. They declared our birthday as an official day of mourning.
And now that you've learned that she's not dead? I know it doesn't undo the grief, but surely there's no reason for a memorial.
[ ianthe thinks she's a terrible person so often, but in this moment, alina can't help but feel awed that ianthe persists in loving coronabeth, where alina would have learned to hate her for this. ]
[Bold of Alina to think Ianthe doesn't also hate her sister.]
I've never believed she was dead. Corona's too fucking dumb to die, and I know I'd feel it if she did. But that's not the problem. I can't tell them she's alive. I can't two anyone in the Nine Houses.
What I'm going to tell you, you can't tell anyone. Okay?
[ it's a little validating, being brought in on such secrecy. to feel trusted, included. equal. it shouldn't feel thrilling. she should still feel sorry for ianthe, still be focused on the pain she's discussing, but it heals something in alina. just a little. gives her something that she'd been longing for with aleksander. ]
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but she doesn't want to do that. not really. it might mean losing this thing she has with ianthe. she depends too wholly on ianthe's affection to be generous enough to sacrifice it. ]
I'd like that.
I appreciate the warning, in fact. It'll give me a chance to find a suitable gift.
In Ravka, we celebrate the Feast of Saint Nikolai this time of year. But it's just feasting. We don't exchange gifts or anything.
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Still, Ianthe knew she was the outsider. That she only got Alina for what limited time she had. It twisted her up inside, but it was a sensation she was used to. Her whole life, watching the people she wanted wanting someone else. But she remained, swallowed it down, and took what she could.
Like this date. She had plans for it. And yet, she was so surprised Alina said yes.]
Really? Thank fuck.
What did Saint Nikolai do?
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He has this magical sack that's always full of food. I think he found it in the wood? Or maybe brought it with him. I don't remember.
Anyway, when the voyage was ended, he brought it around Ravka, feeding the hungry by sharing a feast with them from inside of it.
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Does anyone know why he sailed the Bone Road in the first place?
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I wasn't as interested as I should have been, except for the parts about Morozova's stag. The amplifier I mentioned, made by Sankt Ilya from his finger bones.
It's just one of those things everyone knows about but doesn't spend a lot of time thinking about.
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I suppose having a living God does make it easy to encourage religion. Prople can buy posters of God or individual lyctors.
Are there any other saints alive aside from you?
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It's only me.
Honestly, I think Ravkans prefer dead saints. Easier to control.
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They'd see me as Ravkan.
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Sometimes I want to look up my poster sales, but I know better.
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But that was before I knew what was really going on, what it meant to be a lyctor, because of course that was kept from everyone. And that nobody really cared. My own parents didn't even celebrate my ascension.
Checking the sales would just prove that I'm the least liked lyctor. And I already know that.
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I don't understand. You seem to be quite the patriot. I don't see why anyone wouldn't like you for it.
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Corona was captured by Blood of Eden - the insurgents - at Canaan House shortly after everything went to shit, along with the other survivors that weren't me and Harrow. Neither of us even knew. When John showed up to collect us, they were gone. No bodies, just gone. So they were declared dead.
My parents were notified, just like every House was, of the dead and of the two new lyctors. To my parents, I was a lyctor, and Coronabeth was dead. They declared our birthday as an official day of mourning.
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I know it doesn't undo the grief, but surely there's no reason for a memorial.
[ ianthe thinks she's a terrible person so often, but in this moment, alina can't help but feel awed that ianthe persists in loving coronabeth, where alina would have learned to hate her for this. ]
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I've never believed she was dead. Corona's too fucking dumb to die, and I know I'd feel it if she did. But that's not the problem. I can't tell them she's alive. I can't two anyone in the Nine Houses.
What I'm going to tell you, you can't tell anyone. Okay?
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I won't.
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John knows, but he thinks she's just a tool they're using. I know what she's doing, and I'm okay with it. Mostly.
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Aren't they resisting the government you lead?
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