that she'd rather hear about it from ianthe than from running into gilia near her room, when ianthe had said she didn't want to see anyone.
that she'd rather not feel like she has ruined one kind of closeness with another, made as fraught as her every other relationship.
that she doesn't want to be rent by jealousy, and that it will only change if she learns to grow used to the idea that she doesn't own everyone she touches.
that she needs to talk to someone about this because she feels as alone as she had at the little palace, writing letters to mal that he never answered. ]
It's all unprecedented for me. I'd never been with anyone like this before coming here. Aleksander was the first.
[ and it was a lie to protect herself. to protect genya and nikolai. something else that she'd given up to be the sun summoner. she rubs at her face. ]
Sorry. I think I'm just in a mood. Can we start over?
(cw: dubcon refs)
that she'd rather hear about it from ianthe than from running into gilia near her room, when ianthe had said she didn't want to see anyone.
that she'd rather not feel like she has ruined one kind of closeness with another, made as fraught as her every other relationship.
that she doesn't want to be rent by jealousy, and that it will only change if she learns to grow used to the idea that she doesn't own everyone she touches.
that she needs to talk to someone about this because she feels as alone as she had at the little palace, writing letters to mal that he never answered. ]
It's all unprecedented for me.
I'd never been with anyone like this before coming here.
Aleksander was the first.
[ and it was a lie to protect herself. to protect genya and nikolai. something else that she'd given up to be the sun summoner. she rubs at her face. ]
Sorry. I think I'm just in a mood.
Can we start over?