i was gonna go on a long speech about ongoing trauma and stockholm's, but the tl;dr: if this dude you wanna kill keeps giving you orgasms, there's gonna be a point where your feelings about it get muddled and you will no longer wanna kill him.
if that were true i'd never have wanted to kill him in the first place. he kept me like a prized bird in a menagerie. and it felt good. i felt special. and now i know that the only way to save ravka is to stop him.
your roles are reversed now. you have power over him, that's gotta be messing with your perception of things, and the longer you're together the worse it's gonna get.
if my feelings were muddled before i slept with him then what difference does any of this make?
i loved him. that doesn't just go away. and even before contracting him i couldn't keep away from him. ive told you that we're connected because of what he did to me, haven't i?
a contract doesn't change anything.
[ except as a symbol. andy is right. she has been asking herself questions she shouldn't. if some middle ground exists, if he could change enough for them to find some kind of compromise.
it's not the contract though, is it? the fake memories were worse. ]
i get that there's magic stuff well beyond my understanding going on there
but there's also toxic relationship patterns i understand very well. and tethering yourself to this guy beyond whatever existing magic link isn't healthy.
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you know you're trapped in a toxic relationship, right?
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he kept me like a prized bird in a menagerie. and it felt good. i felt special.
and now i know that the only way to save ravka is to stop him.
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be so much wiser?
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doesn't mean i can't recognize a bad choice tho.
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i loved him. that doesn't just go away. and even before contracting him i couldn't keep away from him. ive told you that we're connected because of what he did to me, haven't i?
a contract doesn't change anything.
[ except as a symbol. andy is right. she has been asking herself questions she shouldn't. if some middle ground exists, if he could change enough for them to find some kind of compromise.
it's not the contract though, is it? the fake memories were worse. ]
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but there's also toxic relationship patterns i understand very well. and tethering yourself to this guy beyond whatever existing magic link isn't healthy.
you deserve better
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