[ accepting this has taken a while. she was grisha before she met the darkling, before she went to the little palace. she'll be grisha until she dies. there's no helping that. ]
But I hadn't used my power until ... last year? The year before, I guess. [ counting duplicity time. it's hard to figure out how to frame that. ] When I was a kid, I was always really sick. That's what it does to us, hiding it.
[ Nearly a year has passed for them both. Jessica is resigned to counting it. It's wasted, ruined time, regardless of whether or not she'll forget it. It happened. She's been robbed of months of her life before and nothing gets them back. ]
You're damn good for just two years. [ Holding something like that in has to hurt. She won't ask if she hid it on purpose, won't assume either way even though she doubts it (What child chooses to be sick?). Alina has expressed plenty of her burden already. ] I've had mine for eighteen.
Everyone in Ravka was very committed to my instruction.
[ she looks at her hands, rubs her fingers a moment, then smiles up at jess. it's a strained sort of smile. her home only seems to bring those kinds of expressions to her face. ]
To them, I'm a saint. [ the mantle that duplicity has thrust upon her doesn't feel entirely different. an honor, doubling as a yoke. ]
And it's not all my own doing. [ she holds out her hand, lifts her wrist to indicate the fetter of shining sea dragon's scales upon it. they cling so tight to her wrist as to look nearly embedded. a bracelet she's never without, just like the collar of antlers around her neck. ]
These aren't for decoration. They're amplifiers. [ her other hand rests on the stag collar. ] Made from creatures born of Sankt Illya's finger bones. They strengthen Grisha.
[ An impressed huff. She wonders what amplifiers would look like for the people she's met. She can picture similar bracelets on Rand's hands, not like he needs more power when he barely knows what to do with the amount he's already got. Matt and Luke are too nebulous. If the wrong people had their way, they'd probably just jam them full of drugs and see what happened. ]
You arrived with those? [ Awfully kind of the program.
Jess splays her own unadorned hands towards the fire, warmth welling in her palms. ]
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[ accepting this has taken a while. she was grisha before she met the darkling, before she went to the little palace. she'll be grisha until she dies. there's no helping that. ]
But I hadn't used my power until ... last year? The year before, I guess. [ counting duplicity time. it's hard to figure out how to frame that. ] When I was a kid, I was always really sick. That's what it does to us, hiding it.
no subject
You're damn good for just two years. [ Holding something like that in has to hurt. She won't ask if she hid it on purpose, won't assume either way even though she doubts it (What child chooses to be sick?). Alina has expressed plenty of her burden already. ] I've had mine for eighteen.
no subject
[ she looks at her hands, rubs her fingers a moment, then smiles up at jess. it's a strained sort of smile. her home only seems to bring those kinds of expressions to her face. ]
To them, I'm a saint. [ the mantle that duplicity has thrust upon her doesn't feel entirely different. an honor, doubling as a yoke. ]
And it's not all my own doing. [ she holds out her hand, lifts her wrist to indicate the fetter of shining sea dragon's scales upon it. they cling so tight to her wrist as to look nearly embedded. a bracelet she's never without, just like the collar of antlers around her neck. ]
These aren't for decoration. They're amplifiers. [ her other hand rests on the stag collar. ] Made from creatures born of Sankt Illya's finger bones. They strengthen Grisha.
no subject
You arrived with those? [ Awfully kind of the program.
Jess splays her own unadorned hands towards the fire, warmth welling in her palms. ]
no subject
[ she tilts her head to the side. let's not give them too much credit. the fire caught, alina settles back in her seat, sighing. ]
That's the price for seeking power. No matter how righteous the intention.