[ unwarranted anger stews in her belly. that's no way to ask. he knows it. but of course, the matter is already settled. this is the price she's paying for getting rid of him. the cost doesn't really matter. there isn't one she wouldn't pay. but it rankles her, feeds that awful piece of her that wants to buck the bit for bucking's sake.
she doesn't. she hates and fears that part of herself, the one that claws for every kind of power she can get. so she fights it down now. ]
[ though the mere fact of him relenting easily makes her blood boil, still. it makes him sound indifferent to any few moments she gives him of her time. she hates the notion that he is more important to her than she is to him simply by warrant of how much he's hurt her. it means he still, even now, has power over her that she doesn't want to give him. ]
[ she can't quite believe that he's leaving this at the apartment request, with no mention of tumenalia. no urge to dangle it over her head. believing her luck would require believing he's serious about his commitment to distance. ]
[ the little ellipsis that alerts him she's typing lights up. and up. and up. for quite some time. she types and erases a number of frustrated tirades. ]
[ her frustration stews over hours. grappling with itself. it feels impossible to tell if she's inventing things to hate about him or if he's deliberately pissing her off by acting so cavalier. but she is tired of being so much more invested in him than he is in her. in some ways, it makes her feel like she is his pet still, whether she's kneeling at his feet or not.
the best revenge would really be not to care at all, but she doesn't know how to do that. despite this, she arrives at the door of his apartment trying very hard to present herself as such. hands tucked in her navy coat's pockets after she's knocked on the door, impatient but not angry. scowling at the squatters in the hall instead of at his door. ]
if pressed, he would insist that it's because he prefers to spend as little time at the apartment as possible. this is the truth, of course, but it's only really part of it. the actual truth is that this is the first time they've been together in person since tumenalia, and while he has no idea how to navigate that he also isn't about to let a little thing like awkwardness and uncertainty keep him from seeing her. )
( un: starless | text )
( a picture in her inbox.)
no subject
she doesn't. she hates and fears that part of herself, the one that claws for every kind of power she can get. so she fights it down now. ]
i'll go take a look later.
i'm surprised.
no subject
no subject
you didn't ask me to see it with you.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
the surprise was that it's so plain and dingy.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
fine. be ready to go this evening. i'll come fetch you.
no subject
no subject
i can meet you at your present apartment just as well.
[ and they are going into the down, after all. she isn't quite ready to see vanessa and the darkling in the same room again yet. ]
no subject
( he doesn't tell her to be careful because he knows better. )
no subject
[ though the mere fact of him relenting easily makes her blood boil, still. it makes him sound indifferent to any few moments she gives him of her time. she hates the notion that he is more important to her than she is to him simply by warrant of how much he's hurt her. it means he still, even now, has power over her that she doesn't want to give him. ]
no subject
The newer place is closer to the market here.
no subject
[ she can't quite believe that he's leaving this at the apartment request, with no mention of tumenalia. no urge to dangle it over her head. believing her luck would require believing he's serious about his commitment to distance. ]
no subject
Is there more?
no subject
[ stubborn, teeth gritted. ]
no subject
( because whatever she's stewing on will have likely boiled over thoroughly by then. )
no subject
fine.
no subject
no subject
the best revenge would really be not to care at all, but she doesn't know how to do that. despite this, she arrives at the door of his apartment trying very hard to present herself as such. hands tucked in her navy coat's pockets after she's knocked on the door, impatient but not angry. scowling at the squatters in the hall instead of at his door. ]
no subject
if pressed, he would insist that it's because he prefers to spend as little time at the apartment as possible. this is the truth, of course, but it's only really part of it. the actual truth is that this is the first time they've been together in person since tumenalia, and while he has no idea how to navigate that he also isn't about to let a little thing like awkwardness and uncertainty keep him from seeing her. )
Thank you for not keeping me waiting.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)